Boku no Saiai no Toujinshi
by Jade Ai
Summary: What if there was more to forming a contract between toujinshi and shikigami than Riku thought there was? Yaoi.
1. First Impressions

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**_words_** - Kogenta

_words_ - Riku

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Prologue: First Impressions

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"**_So it was you? You the one who called me, Lord Kogenta of the Byakko?_**" I remembered asking at that time, not knowing the physical form of my summoner, and yet knowing with every fiber of my being that he was to be my next _toujinshi_. "**_Will you form a contract, then?_**"

"_Contract…?_" I remembered hating that uncertainty. I remembered thinking that I had been fooled – that my chosen summoner could not be so weak. The very thought was impossible.

"**_That Drive called me!_**" The sheer insult of being called by one not worthy of my power grated on my pride, and drove me to impatience. "**_What do you want with me?!_**"

"_I… Save my grandfather!_" The emotions that spilled from those desperate words pulled nothing but contempt from me. How could I have been wrong? After so many years, could I finally have made a mistake in choosing my _toujinshi_?

"**_I don't save people._**" I sneered at him. The despair that blasted at my senses then drove me to begrudgingly offer some comfort. "**_Anyway, he's just asleep._**"

Anger ignited when I next sensed near-overwhelming relief. "**_Teme! Don't tell me that was the only reason you called me!_**"

"_Then… What can you do?_" My eyes narrowed. Was he trying to trick me? I thought. What is he trying to do? Yet I answered anyway.

"**_The only thing I can do…_**" I cracked my knuckles in eager anticipation. "**_…is fight!_**"

"_Then fight that demon!_" Came the imperious command. The blood quickened in my veins.

"**_Call my name then._**" I demanded, the adrenaline and the screaming urge to fight rushing through my body, combined with the sure knowledge of the bond to be formed made my tones impatient.

"_Kogenta…_" Was the barely audible response.

I was not paying close enough attention to fully appreciate it at that time, but it had been confusion and bewilderment, a complete lack of understanding of the new world that had been thrust upon my _toujinshi_ that had driven the uncertain stuttering and the weak reply. "**_I can't hear you._**" Thinking that it was only weakness, which only drove my impatience and anger to bubbling fury, I unthinkingly yelled and channeled my rage at him. "**_Call. My. NAME!!!_**"

I could almost _feel_ when his near paralyzing uncertainty crystallized to new determination. "_Kogenta of the Byakko!_" I raised my head, poised on the edge of readiness. "_I form a contract with you!!_"

"**_I like your style. Very well. I accept!_**" Finally! I felt the shimmering line form in between the two of us with a satisfying, soul-deep snap, the shining bond between _toujinshi_ and _shikagami_, and never thought to question why the bond had flashed momentarily golden as I exulted in my freedom.

"**_YES!!! I am Kogenta of the Byakko! TENZAN!!_**"

And that, was how I met my _toujinshi_. The one whom I fight for.

"**_Why haven't you cut the Seal since you called me?! Don't tell me you called me but you don't know how to use the Drive?!_**"

My master. The one whom I obey above all others.

"**_Hurry! Swing the Drive!_**"

My partner. My _aibou_. The one whom I share the same dreams, the same hopes, the same desires.

"**_More power!_**"

My Riku. The one whom I love, every side of him, both his past and his present.

"**_Hissatsu! Crescent Moon Dancing Fists!_**"

My mate.

"**_HYEEAAAARRRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!_**"

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End Prologue.

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AN: Small cliffhanger to see if the idea's worth continuing. Feedback, please!

Cheers,

Jade Ai.


	2. Though Unreliable, Can Seem True

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Chapter 1: Uncertainty and Another Life

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Riku-_kun_ was a Good Boy.

Everyone said so.

And Riku-_kun_ was happy, because he tried hard to be one.

His grandfather often seemed a little peculiar to him, and asked him to do strange things which he later refused to explain - but Riku-_kun_ obeyed him and did whatever task he was set to anyway because he was obedient and he cared for his grandfather.

Girls, especially pink-haired girls who had a rather disturbing tendency to mutter to themselves for a good long while, after which they would yell something out loud that was usually followed by his getting hit at one point – really confused him. But he continued to stay friends with pink-haired girls because they had been friends ever since he could remember.

Besides, Momo, for all her inexplicable habits, was a very kind girl, and Riku-_kun_ liked her kindness and her friendship enough, appreciated her efforts to befriend him enough despite her being a Girl and his being a Boy, that he could not find any reason to discontinue being her friend.

He was a Good Boy, and Good Boys did not abandon anyone they cared about for Any Reason.

Riku-_kun_ was not certain why this was very important to him, but it was. So he tried hard to be a Good Boy.

This was the reason why he did all his grandfather told him to, even when he later got into trouble for it at school. This was the reason why he was grateful when Tamiya-_kun_ defended him against the usual round of bullies – albeit accidentally, apparently – but would not go out of his way to defend himself. This was also the reason why he befriended that lonely looking kid with the glasses and the hunched shoulders that cried out for attention, at the same time trying hard to fade into the background.

Riku-_kun_ was a good boy, and even if he wasn't sure whether he did it more for being Good than for the tugging in his heart that seemed to throb and engulf and demand that he recognize the existence of a similar tugging in the other boy... he asked to show him around anyway.

Because he was a Good Boy, and Good Boys did not ever refuse to help when they could.

There were times when Riku-_kun_ had thought that being a Good Boy took a lot of energy. Times when that weird tugging in his heart threatened to suck all the will out of him and leave him listless and not wanting to move.

Those times, it became particularly difficult to be a Good Boy. Those times, his smiles slipped, his quiet cheerfulness became more quiet than cheerful, and the brown in his eyes seemed blacker and bigger than anything else on his face. Those times, it became hard to remember why being a Good Boy was So Very Important to him – especially when he wasn't sure why it was important to begin with, only that it demanded his attention the way nothing else could.

It made it difficult to be Riku-_kun_ most of the time, actually – but he was quite sure that his sanity somehow depended on how Good a Boy he was being, so much so that even if Riku _personally_ lost his sanity trying to be good, at least everyone else wouldn't lose Riku-_kun_'s sanity. And that was very important. Everyone else wouldn't lose their sanity either.

That was even more important.

So Riku-_kun_ was practiced at being a Good Boy. Was an expert at it, even. He knew all the little gestures, the 'just-right' widening of eyes or sheepish smiles that held Riku-_kun_ together in everyone else's eyes.

He knew just when to be at his most innocent and clueless so Momo could seem knowledgable and worldly, able to salvage the pride that seemed critical to being a girl in some way that Riku-_kun_ could not fully understand, but tried to keep for her regardless. He knew just when to be at his most affectionately confused, and pretended not to notice whenever his grandfather looked at him with a gaze of bewildered disbelief that bordered on worship when he thought Riku-kun was busy with something else and wasn't paying attention, even when it made him feel awkward and undeserving.

Even when it made him feel as if Riku-_kun_ felt more and more like a lie with every worshipful gaze, every out-of-nowhere hit...

Actually, it often seemed that every time Riku tried to be a Good Boy, he became better at being Riku-kun, at the same time that it became harder and harder to think of himself as Riku.

Riku wasn't sure what the difference was, but he knew it made him feel sad and lost.

But Riku-_kun_ was a Good Boy, and Good Boys could not just do whatever they wanted to do whenever they felt like it. Ever.

Good Boys were good and stayed good so they would not cause anyone trouble. Good Boys were good when they were unnoticed. Good Boys were good when everyone else around them was happy. Good Boys were never meant to be anything else but Good Boys.

So Riku-_kun_ tried his best to be a Good Boy, and tried his best not to notice when calling himself Riku became harder and harder... and took so _much_ effortto do. Because nothing else was as important as being a Good Boy.

His brown eyes seemed particularly black today, but his smile was just a_little_ brighter than usual, so that was okay. And if he made sure to add a bit of a bounce to his step and a _tiny_ bit more comic energy into his reactions when he later saw Momo and Shimizu-_chan_, and then Tamiya-_kun_today, that would be perfect.

Because Riku-_kun_ was a Good Boy, and Good Boys never made mistakes.

They weren't allowed to, because Good Boys don't get second chances.

And even if Riku was not, Riku-_kun_ was a Good Boy.

Everyone said so.

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Frustration bubbled in the _shikigami. _

He'd had difficult-to-deal-with _toujinshi_ before, but this newest one he had was on an entirely different level of I-wanna-pull-my-_fur_-out frustration!

The stuttering confusion he could maybe – maybe_ – _forgive, since it was only to be expected.

Any_toujinshi_ regardless of ability would have been similarly overcome that one of the Byakko, and Kogenta especially, answered to a summons. And with his centuries of experience, he had not even expected he would be matched with a _toujinshi_ who was truly worthy of his abilities – such a one, he was certain, did not and could not ever exist. Not since Yakumo, anyway. And even then, he only came close.

Not once was he able to unlock Kogenta's true abilities.

So Kogenta's expectations had lowered over time, and the_ shikigami_ had let them. To expect more when there was none to be had would, after all, only cause further grief and disappointment later.

But even knowing all that... This was absolutely ridiculous!! He may have lowered his expectations, but he still had standards!

Bad enough that they not immediately begun training and searching for In – which was the least of the tiger-_shikigami_'s expectations especially considering the rather spectacular In his idiot of a _toujinshi_ used in their first battle together. They had to go and waste _more_ time when Kogenta had _already_ said the old guy was perfectly fine!

"_Ojii-chan_... The checkup said nothing was wrong... So why don't you wake up?"

Kogenta was going out of his mind. He could feel it. His sanity was hanging on by a thread and any moment it would snap.

"Idiot! Like I said! 'Till his _Chi_ energy is restored he won't wake up!" He almost snarled at his _toujinshi_. Any two-bit amateur in the _shikigami_ arts would have known that. Exactly how stupid could this guy get??

Was this really the _toujinshi_ he was meant to serve?!

Brown eyes looked up to meet his. A pause ensued. Then –

"..._Chi_ energy?" Clear confusion in the tone.

"That's... Well..." Red cat-eyes blinked.

The tiger-_shikigami_ was momentarily stumped. Well, and how do you explain _Chi_ after all? Even the most renowned _toujinshi_ and the wisest _shikigami_ he knew weren't certain on precisely what the nature of c_hi_ was.

_Chi_ was in everything. It flows, ebbs, throbs, and recedes. It created, destroyed, renewed, and changed. _Chi_ was. _Shikigami_ were almost purely _chi _as well – flows of energy with more independent conscience given a physical construct through a combination of both will and the_toujinshi_'s determination.

How exactly could Kogenta put into words his very existence?

Despite being rarely given to speaking as the tiger-_shikigami_ was, it was even rarer that Kogenta was caught at a loss for words. So when the inevitable once-or-twice-occurrence-in-a-lifetime happened, the ever proud_ shikigami_ warrior could only ever react in one way.

"Anyway, he'll recover after he rests!" Came the yelled response.

Which was by ignoring he was ever asked anything, and simply sticking to what he knew for certain.

Kogenta's embarrassment at being caught speechless was only mildly assuaged by the cringing _toujinshi_.

"So... What are you?"

And just like that, all the tiger-_shikigami_'s frustrations crystalized into absolute disbelief.

"H-how – w-wha – YOU'RE the one who used that drive to call me!!" Kogenta could feel a vein throbbing on the side of his temple as he glared expectantly at the human.

"...o-oh..."

The tiger-_shikigami_ almost face-faulted.

"Earlier you summoned me and made a contract with me!"

"Um... What contract?"

Nearly snarling, gripping onto his rapidly draining patience, the _shikigami_ began the long task of explaining what his _toujinshi_ should have known already.

His stupid, idiot of a _toujinshi_!

"_**Teme**-!!_"

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When I look back on it now, I cannot help but think that I had been nearly-unspeakably cruel to a boy who had no knowledge of the new world he had been thrusted into. Granted, it was an unthinking cruelty – one borne of ignorance rather than deliberate maliciousness that made me immediately dismiss him as a _toujinshi_ of no consequence, and undeserving of my power and attention.

Still, the guilt from those early days lingers on in me even now, and I know that I, though a stranger at the time, did hurt the fragile heart that lived in my Riku.

I know that many things hurt him, and that the warrior of no consequence whom I thought of so belittlingly, instead of admitting and accepting the blow, denied himself even the kindness of acknowledging the blow regardless of the damage it inflicted.

He did so with far more bravery than all the warriors I had seen in my long life, but in my impatience, I misjudged him.

And that misjudgment, to my shame, was only one among the long list of injustices that I would commit against my mate. It was not even the only instance wherein I made light of his worth, to my everlasting sorrow.

As was proven the next time he summoned me to battle.

I think the worst part wasn't even that I made such an uncalled-for misjudgment, but rather what I did soon after that battle that made me question even my own worthiness as a _shikigami_, nevermind my worthiness as his mate.

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End Chapter 1.

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A/N: This chapter is dedicated to White Hunter, who tirelessly, unfailingly, and relentlessly demanded that I update this story, and without whom this chapter might never have seen the light of internet day. White Hunter, I hope it meets your expectations. I'll be the first to admit I'm not entirely confident and am nowhere near satisfied with this chapter, but.. To my dear readers as a whole, please review!

Cheers,

Jade Ai.


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